I'm Abbey :) and i'm a sprightly 19 years old... nearly in the 20's. Blargh. :P
Im one of 5 kids- The coolest one clearly as i'm the only lass. And I have an absolutely incredible boyfriend, James. We've been dating 21 months this month and he is a little bit special- actually I Love Him :) Enough of my soft side. xD
I guess your wondering, why blog?
I HATE BULLYING.
So you could say, I will be bloggiong about my experiences to hopefully help and relate to those also experience the trauma of bullying.
*Takes Deep Breath* Ok here we go.
In Primary School, I always knew I was different. Even though I looked completely normal to the untrained eye, I still never fit in. I remember day in, day out; the same people saying the same things, "why are you so fat?" or "why don't you grow? your too short" <---- that second one was followed by my ball being taken by a group of girls and them throwing it over my head so I couldn't reach it. My lunchtimes were spent eating in the toilets because I was chased there and not let out. If i did get out, I was pushed down the stairs or beaten up. 4-5 years of crying everyday before school and suicidal thoughts and you could call it hell.
I finally left that school. 5 schools later, I was still broken and left thinking. "Why the hell me?"
At age 16, I found out. Turner's Syndrome. To sum it up, I can't have children, i'm of midget height and struggle with anxiety, math and organisation. Fun stuff!
However dispite it being traumatic news, all I could do was laugh. It was a relief to know who I was, that little piece of knowledge about myself I didn't know had been found.
A journey of discovery begun. I joined a fantastic chronic illness program named chIPS and I slowly began to realise, that it literally wasn't me, it was them. Believing in myself and being happy with the skin i'm in allowed me to regain my shattered self and rise above what those girls put me through.
In my journey of self discovery, I wrote a song which is aimed at society and the way they look at people who are different, people like me. I hope this helps those who need it and enlightens those who reas this who realise they have done what these girls did to me. :)
"My screams , falling upon deaf ears, Reality is blinded by what they choose not to see. Crawling through a tunnel with no light at the end, the same routine again and again. Placed onto this earth sometimes mistaken as hell, even though it hurts I wouldn’t change a thing. (No I wouldn’t change a thing.)
They say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” well I’m stronger than ever, soaring the skies, maybe one day the world will open their eyes and see,
the little things I see that make life so perfect.
A future untold will see me one step ahead.
Living everyday as if it’s the end, society will see that their prognosis is dead. That I am still human,
I’m Moving up on leader board I’m gonna take charge.
I've got the upper hand, I’m feeling the shackles loosening on these chains. This is me, my life and I’m living it free."
I hope you enjoyed my first blog and I will continue updating :)
BaaaaaaaiiiiBaaaaiiiiii! ^___^
xxx
Lovely song Abbey, you are so strong and wise.
ReplyDelete